To church or not to church…
A couple of Sundays ago my wife and I went to a matinee showing of The Bourne Ultimatum. The theater was packed and I jokingly said to my wife, “Don’t people go to church on Sunday morning anymore?” The irony being that we, while considering ourselves good Christians, haven’t darkened the door of a church in a great long while.
I’m almost ashamed to admit that we don’t go to church. Partially because I’m not always certain we’re doing the right thing. Living off-the-map as a pilgrim wanderer in uncharted territory one has moments of self-doubt and uncertainty. Never quite certain that we’ve heard God right. Always wondering if we’re headed in the right direction. Wondering what the promised land will look like once we arrive.
The other reason admitting we don’t go to church is difficult is that it’s awkward. Who wants to explain over and over again that while you believe in Jesus you’ve all but given up on modern expressions of the church? That’s borderline heresy in some circles. There are Christians that warm a pew week after week without a thought of why they’re there or what that two hours on a Sunday morning is actually accomplishing in terms of drawing them closer to Christ. In fact, the core question may very well boil down to, “Why Church?”
That’s a question for another post, but one I think of often. I guess I’m just feeling a little adrift these days. After several years of living outside the institutional church I don’t feel I’m growing as a Christian any more outside of it than I was in the church. Granted, we haven’t really connected with any alternatives to the institutional church. We’ve looked into house churches, and once upon a time even thought we’d start a house church or something like that ourselves. But life has a way of creeping up on you, and we’ve kept putting things of to a “tomorrow” that has never come. First it was my wife completing her Ph.D. and my working a job with an insane schedule. Then it was my switching jobs and returning to school part-time. Now it’s still school for me, but also settling into the new house we just bought.
Honestly, I’m a bit uncomfortable with how easy it’s been not going to church on Sundays. Not that warming a pew is where it’s at anyway. I guess I’m just hoping we’ll get a little closer to where we’re supposed to be. Sure, we still get together with other believers for “fellowship,” but it’s just not the same as “big church” with worship you can get lost in and encounter God and teaching that pierces the heart.
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Comments
Hi,
I don’t know if you looked at Lifestreams (www.lifestream.org). There is a great Yahoo group there of people on a similar journey. Yes, there is plenty of fellowship with God outside of the church, because we are the church.. the body of Christ.
Hey Nile,
I was online…and figured I’d google some names of people with whom I lost contact with…
How are you?
I’m ok. I moved back to NJ after a hellish 2 1/2 yrs in Louisiana.
Be good…
Steve
hey bro – good to find you again – have you come across M? Or Voxtropolis? What did you think
Mark (Still in FL)
Say hi to Doris for us